I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize