jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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