as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
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all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
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Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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