coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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