I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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