new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Randomize
