So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Randomize
