Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
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