Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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