ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
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I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
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I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash