There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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