her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.