I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
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Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
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Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.