"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?