I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
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you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
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Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
We had sex on a dog bed..
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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