If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
