when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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