he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
