just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
