I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
you told grandpa to call you daddy
We left an ass print on the piano.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
