She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Randomize
