Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (313): So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life? http://tfl.nu/8qm6
  Replies (37) Good night (4845) Bad night (1123)
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (413): Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed. http://tfl.nu/2338
  Replies (20) Good night (5508) Bad night (521)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (570): Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning? http://tfl.nu/o1k1
  Replies (39) Good night (3949) Bad night (1634) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss

  (757): View more from Virginia

  So when are we having a sleepover?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (804): So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss (757): So when are we having a sleepover? http://tfl.nu/90ed
  Replies (24) Good night (6229) Bad night (539)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  He had one of those small greek statue penises

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (813): He had one of those small greek statue penises http://tfl.nu/uvv6
  Replies (33) Good night (643) Bad night (5290) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (619): you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top http://tfl.nu/edw1
  Replies (18) Good night (856) Bad night (2868) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (440): But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex. http://tfl.nu/ebom
  Replies (10) Good night (4398) Bad night (1127) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (757): he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree. http://tfl.nu/5ajs
  Replies (4) Good night (3101) Bad night (738)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (443): I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face. http://tfl.nu/jlmy
  Replies (6) Good night (3610) Bad night (812) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (904): Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer. http://tfl.nu/ug99
  Replies (11) Good night (1883) Bad night (1214) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (902): Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor. http://tfl.nu/bcf5
  Replies (4) Good night (779) Bad night (1400) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (850): It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order. http://tfl.nu/7w8i
  Replies (4) Good night (1956) Bad night (453)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (419): Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test. http://tfl.nu/jxmi
  Replies (9) Good night (569) Bad night (2107) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (706): View more from Georgia

  I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (706): I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose. http://tfl.nu/d385
  Replies (6) Good night (430) Bad night (614) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (270): View more from Kentucky

  My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (270): My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore. http://tfl.nu/ol80
  Replies (4) Good night (284) Bad night (883) Order T-Shirt

Randomize