i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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