i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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