Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
