When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Randomize
