Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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