To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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