We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
