I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Randomize
