It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize