I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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