dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
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