I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
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