turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Randomize
