the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
did you just send me my own nude
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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