you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Houston, we have a blender
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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