I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
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