if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
