The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
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