Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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