Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Randomize
