around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Randomize