hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
