hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
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