question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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