You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
