what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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