I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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