Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Randomize
