when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
