Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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