Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
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