Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
