I could have mohawked her pubes.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
