yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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