Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize