I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize