i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Your cock deserves a montage
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
