can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
