You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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