The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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