Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Randomize
