he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
