I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
